Transcript: The Painting

Backpack Picnic
Episode “The painting”

Jerry: You writing a book?
Jerrie: Huh, Jerry you old such and so.
Jerry: How the hell have you been other Jerrie?
Jerrie: Well I have been in rapture, but I thought you were locked up in Belize, what gives?
Jerry: Didn’t Martha tell you that I called?
Jerrie: No, Martha passed.
Jerry: Oh my god other Jerrie, I had no idea was it sudden?
Jerrie: We will get back to that in a second; let’s talk about how you got out of prison.
Jerry: We will get back to that in a second; let’s talk about what your hair is doing.
Jerrie: Let’s talk about what you can do for my hair.
Jerry: It has been too long old friend.
Jerrie: I agree, did you bring your clippings?
Jerry: I did.
Jerrie: This is going to be great, should we go to the parlor?
Martha: I want both Jerrie's dead.
Hired Killer: Hmm, funny how other Jerry hired me to kill you but instead we fell in love.
Martha: Yes funny.
Hired Killer: I got a tattoo of you Martha.
Martha: Of me?
Hired Killer: Of you.
Jerrie: Martha: I want it to look like an accident.
Hired Killer: Don’t you try to change the subject on me Martha, I love you. I said I love you.
Martha: Let go.
Both: (Screaming)
Jerry: Funny thing, Martha passing like that.
Jerrie: Yes, very funny. I always theorized the stomach cancer would do it.
Jerry: She did love to eat her cigarettes; didn’t you always theorize that the stomach cancer would do it?
Jerrie: I can’t keep up the lie Jerry, I have been paying a stranger to feed her more and more cigarettes so she would actually die of stomach cancer and prove my theory. I have been sending letters over the years instructing him to feed her more and more cigarettes and then one afternoon she actually intercepted one of those letters and discovered my entire plan.
Rather than expose me she feigned a love affair with the poor man and convinced him to murder you and I just earlier today in a car ride. He even got a tattoo of her.
Jerry: Of her?
Jerrie: Of her on him. His love literally drove him over the edge killing them both in a car accident, except only Martha’s body was found.
Jerry: I have been out of prison a long time other Jerrie.
Jerrie: That is a tattoo of Martha but that is impossible, If you are the stranger than who has been hiding in my bushes?
Both: Martha?
Martha: That is right boys, so who would have thought it would come to this, the two Jerries together again, just like the old days eh boys?
Jerrie: But you passed.
Martha: How do you know other Jerrie? You made up that pot about finding my body; did you forget I won a bronze metal in the butterfly stroke exactly one year ago today?
Jerrie: How could I ever forget Martha? Now it seems I have something you want. She is remarkable aint she Jerry? I think you will find these might come in handy, a lighter, a pocket bible, and a flask.
Jerry: Good by little ol’ other Jerrie, goodbye. Seems you have got the best of us Martha, but I am still puzzled by one…
Martha: Finally they are mine.
Jerrie: Excellent teamwork Jerry.
Jerry: Thank you other Jerrie. Looks like I have something to add to that list.