Transcript: Interview Switcheroo

Backpack picnic
Episode “Interview switcharoo”

Hank: Good morning.
Mr. Fraung: Good morning
Hank: Thank you for being on time, I hope it is not too early for you.
Mr. Fraung: Oh, heavens no I am usually up at about 3:00 AM for morning yoga and a latté so it feels like noon to me.
Hank: It is a good answer; I can tell you have done this sort of thing before.
Mr. Fraung: Well a time or two.
Hank: Well we’re always looking for a real go get are like yourself Mr. Fraung.
Mr. Fraung: No, no, no, no.
Hank: No, what no?
Mr. Fraung: You’re going to want to work on a name like Fraung.
Hank: Work on a?
Mr. Fraung: How do I tell you this, I tell you what trade me places real quick.
Hank: Oh, ok.
Mr. Fraung: I will go this, I would go this way.
Hank: I will go to the wall.
Mr. Fraung: Alright, blah, blah, blah, blah team is always really looking for a go getter like yourself Mr. Fraung is it? See what I did there?
Hank: Yes
Mr. Fraung: Right, see basically at this point in the interview process you want to actually keep them guessing if they are being considered for the job or not.
Hank: Ok.
Mr. Fraung: I did like the go getter line, that nice little pat on the back for whatever bull shit line I fed you about my being prompt but what you need to do is struggle with the name, just to send a message that you’re really indifferent.
Hank: Oh, ok, I get it, I get it.
Mr. Fraung: Alright, so I’ll just come in again and we’ll take it from the top and see how it goes from there.
Hank: Ok.
Mr. Fraung: Good, good, good.
Hank: I will go back again.
Mr. Fraung: Same as, same as before, whoa OK how is this? OK now we’re in business. Say when.
Hank: Ok. Good morning.
Mr. Fraung: Good morning.
Hank: Thank you for being on time, I hope it is not too early for you.
Mr. Fraung: Oh no, no, no I have actually been awake and productive for about 12 years straight now I don’t require sleep.
Hank: Well, we’re always looking for a real go getter like yourself Mr.… Fronge is it?
Mr. Fraung: Actually it is pronounced Fringe.
Hank: Sorry.
Mr. Fraung: Do not apologize.
Hank: What? Oh, oh ok, I am sorry. Oh, oh no for the um apologizing. I’m sorry that I said I’m sorry. Can we start over?
Mr. Fraung: Listen you’re doing fine I just need you to be a little bit more assertive is all, exude confidence.
Hank: Confidence, right I am in charge.
Mr. Fraung: Exactly if you want us to consider you for the position of fulltime interviewer for this company I need to see that you can handle the responsibility that comes with that.
Hank: Right, power I can do this, I can, I can.
Mr. Fraung: Good, let’s just go back and take it from the name bobble.
Hank: OK, can I have a second.
Mr. Fraung: Sure, sure all the time you want just say when.
Hank: Mr. Fronge is it?
Mr. Fraung: That is close it is pronounced…
Hank: What ever, Mr. Fraung I have looked over your resume and frankly you lack a few credentials many of the other applicants possessed lefty. Do you mind if I call you lefty?
Mr. Fraung: Actually that is not even my nickname.
Hank: Lefty what I want you to do is explain to me why I should hire you over the seemingly more Hank: qualified applicants.
Mr. Fraung: Well I have had…
Hank: In 10 words or less, well I have had…
Mr. Fraung: Well I have had more experience than any of the others.
Hank: Good. What now?
Mr. Fraung: Um know you are going to want to reexamine the resume just long enough to question my own self worth.
Hank: Well Mr. Fraung, I am afraid that this position has already been filled.
Mr. Fraung: What?
Hank: By you, congratulations.
Mr. Fraung: Oh thank you sir.
Hank: So how was that?
Mr. Fraung: That was a first rate interview, I like the twist in the end there as well.
Hank: So do I get the job?
Mr. Fraung: Well, come board.
Hank: Thank you, thank you.
Mr. Tushiary we’re all through in here.
Mr. Tushiary: Hank, excellent interview Mr. Fraung is it?
Mr. Fraung: Call me lefty.
Mr. Tushiary Lefty after such an excellent job I’m pleased to announce that you’ll be heading up our companies interviewer hiring and training department congratulations.
Mr. Fraung: Thank you sir.
Gentleman: Hank, lefty, congratulations Mr. Tushiary, you have shown yourself quite capable of selecting people to do things I hereby place you in charge of directing this video.
Director: Hey!
Mr. Tushiary: Okay, cut.