Transcript: Cyclops Eye

Backpack Picnic
Episode “Cyclops eye”

Esteban: Hey kids over eighteen this is Esteban from the band Split Stream. I am really looking forward to doing two of my favorite things which are also super cool. Smoking and voting. Yeah I said voting, but I am also here to say you shouldn’t do them at the same time. Smoke might get in your eyes, and then you start thinking about how patriotic you are and you tear up a little bit more. And that can cause you to confusedly vote for the wrong person that you didn’t want to win. Say it straight.
Guy: Excellent.
Morris: Hey.
Guy: Hello Morris I have been expecting you.
Morris: How did you know it was me?
Guy: Come over to the window.
Morris: Wow.
Guy: This magical Cyclops eye sees into the future.
Morris: That amazing.
Guy: Isn’t it. Now lets get started shall we?
Morris: Is this thing like an eye lid?
Guy: Yes, now can we get down to business please? The diamonds have been moved.
Morris: Where did you get it?
Guy: From a serious old woman in an alley. She was peddling her wares in a most intrusive manner. And I decided the fastest way through the alley was to simply purchase one of her trinkets. Little did I suspect that these crudely done mini blinds she called window eye Possessed any value what so ever, let alone the power to predict the future. Now might I direct your attention to…?
Morris: The Cyclops eye?
Guy: No that is where your attention is now. Do you recall the reason why I employed you Morris?
Morris: Can I try this thing, just once?
Guy: Please do. I fear I won’t attract your undivided attention until your curiosity with the Cyclops eye has been satiated.
Morris: Thanks.
Guy: Now if you will excuse me I must employ the toilet. I pay it with pee.
Morris: Huh, wait don’t go in there.
Guy: Why, what have you seen?
Morris: I saw you dead on the restroom floor.
Guy: Get out of the way. Thank you Morris I will go later.
Morris: Well how far into the future does this thing see?
Guy: I have absolutely no idea. I will just hold it until I get home. Now with regard to the diamonds, Morris you must focus.
Killer: Oy, where’s the restroom? I have got to hide this body.