Transcript: Cruel Irony

Backpack picnic
Episode "Cruel Irony”

Shannon: That sounds lovely.
Mitch: There is nothing wrong with that. You would know that it was the play. I didn't want to call it a play and was not published. But anyway it was a difficult show, because you know it was kind of up their. It was all suits in the audience, so they are not really there to do anything except judge you. But I mean overall it was really fun to do.
Shannon: You know if I lived in LA, I would have come see it.
Mitch: Thanks Shannon.
Shannon: Oh no, I know I can get flaky about stuff like that sometimes so I probably would have missed it and had to come up with some kind of excuse.
David: We would have come to see your show regardless just to support you Mitch.
Mellissa: Yeah me to Mitch.
Mitch: Well thank you David and Melissa.
Shannon: Uh wait, I would have waited until it was actually turned into a TV show, on cable, and I would finally get cable. Just so I could watch Mitch.
Mitch: Thank you. Shannon.
David: We already have cable, so in addition to watching it on cable, when it is released six months later on DVD we would buy that and we would watch it over and over and over again. In lieu of family time.
Mellissa: Yeah Mitch in lieu of family time.
Shannon: The okay, I would've taken the script and rewritten the whole script, and just made your little side character the main character. And then I would sell it, to the highest bidder. Probably a movie studio or something, and then given you all the profits. But hold on, hold on I am not done. See because what I would do is I would also get out a camera, and I would make a making of a behind-the-scenes of footage of all this great stuff. Like Mitch's rise to stardom. And then I'll give you all the profits from that too.
Mitch: Oh, thank you Shannon.
Mellissa: Yeah well, we would wait until Shannon did all of that stuff. And then he would be super rich, and then we would...
David: Remind you of your roots. I would put together this giant slide show of photographs that I've taken over the past 12 years. And I would compile it onto a DVD, and you would watch that one night and you would cry and cry. And you would have a cathartic moment of peace. And you would not waste another moment of your precious life, worrying about money.
Mitch: Oh thank you David and Melissa, and Shannon.
Jeremy: I would buy you a Corvette.
Mitch: Thank you Jeremy. Ha ha.
Jeremy: Oh I did not realize we're making promises in there.
Blake: Yeah that is kind of how auctions work.
Shannon: Your bid is a promise to pay.
Jeremy: No, I know how auctions work. I just thought we were hanging out in there between shots or whatever.
Shannon: We were but then Blake put up a sign.
Blake: Oh yeah I put a sign on the door.
Jeremy: Oh god, I wish I would've seen that sign. Hello everyone. I would buy you a Corvette, no.
Blake: Jeremy realized too late he had only wish to see the sign.
Jeremy: Shut up Blake.
Blake: And not actually to read it.